June 6, 2016
Have you ever wondered what life would be like without you? I know that people like me are irrelevant in life. However, I have always wondered what the world would be like without me? Today is one of those days, in which thought run through my head non stop, like non stop traffic. I wonder if I can go back in time and change the wrong doings I have done to my family. I know that we are not perfect, but sometimes I wish I could be. I wish my family could understand me more. It is way too much to ask of them. They give me everything I need, but I have always lacked what I yearn for. I am an extremely hard person to deal with. Today was the last straw. Sometimes I feel like I have lost myself along the way. I don't even recognize myself anymore. I need protection, love, kindness, and affection. Something that I have always lacked. I know that my family wants the best for me, however, sometimes I wonder if that is the case. I know I did wrong and what I said to my mother, should have never been said. I just don't know why I have so much built up anger inside me anymore. I guess is all those years of living with insults been thrown at me. Now I wonder if I can ever be more than what I am. Is like they always want me to be a nobody. To always need from them. I want to be someone in life. I want to reach beyond my limits.
